Lately I've had CDD on my mind A LOT. Mostly trying to figure out what's wrong with me? Yes, I'm a coward. I know that. But I DO trust my husband and I know he's tenderhearted toward me.
I don't think cowardice is my main problem. No... not at all.
If I'm totally honest with myself (and I'm trying to be), I have to admit my main problem is I don't WANT to obey my husband. Or anyone, for that matter. In my years away from the CDD community, I've gotten strong-willed and I don't think I like that about myself.
I can offer all kinds of excuses...
#1 - My husband is not a Christian
. . .but I know what the Bible says about this. I have even written articles about it. My husband being non-Christian is NOT a good excuse.
#2 - I can't seem to get along with my stepdaughter
...this is probably a little better excuse and the one that stops me the most from fully going forward with CDD in my marriage. However, it's still not a Biblical reason NOT to obey your husband and it would probably even turn his heart more toward his marriage if I was a better wife (i.e. including CDD in our marriage).
#3 - I've "outgrown" the need for CDD
...this one makes me laugh at myself. It's very OBVIOUS I have not outgrown CDD. If anything, I need discipline more than I ever did. It doesn't have as much sexual appeal, but sexual appeal is not the primary reason for CDD. So this excuse holds, like, ZERO water.
Okay... so here I sit. All excuses taken care of.
Now I'm scared again...lol.
Y'all please pray for me, okay???