Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Been Thinking About CDD A Lot.

Lately I've had CDD on my mind A LOT.  Mostly trying to figure out what's wrong with me?  Yes, I'm a coward.  I know that.  But I DO trust my husband and I know he's tenderhearted toward me.

I don't think cowardice is my main problem.  No... not at all.

If I'm totally honest with myself (and I'm trying to be), I have to admit my main problem is I don't WANT to obey my husband.  Or anyone, for that matter.  In my years away from the CDD community, I've gotten strong-willed and I don't think I like that about myself.

I can offer all kinds of excuses...

#1 - My husband is not a Christian

. . .but I know what the Bible says about this.  I have even written articles about it.  My husband being non-Christian is NOT a good excuse.

#2 - I can't seem to get along with my stepdaughter

...this is probably a little better excuse and the one that stops me the most from fully going forward with CDD in my marriage.  However, it's still not a Biblical reason NOT to obey your husband and it would probably even turn his heart more toward his marriage if I was a better wife (i.e. including CDD in our marriage).

#3 - I've "outgrown" the need for CDD

...this one makes me laugh at myself.  It's very OBVIOUS I have not outgrown CDD.  If anything, I need discipline more than I ever did.  It doesn't have as much sexual appeal, but sexual appeal is not the primary reason for CDD.  So this excuse holds, like, ZERO water.

Okay... so here I sit.  All excuses taken care of.

Now I'm scared

Y'all please pray for me, okay???

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I Told Him About CDD

Call me a big chicken.  I deserve it.

But three years into our relationship, I finally told my husband about CDD tonight.

And just like I predicted, he took to it like a duck to water.  Offered to make a paddle for me just like the one he has for his daughter.  Yikes!

As I've mentioned before, I've heard that paddle in use.

I told him, "No, thank you... um... not right now..."

We didn't talk about a CDD lifestyle specifically for us... mostly just in general since he'd really never heard of such a thing before, at least a real lifestyle... but he made it clear he was down for it.  In fact, he thinks it's a GREAT idea lol.

Apparently he thinks there's a need for it :-/

Hmmmm..... lots to think about.  In the meantime, I think I'll just go bite off all my fingernails.